By Zimbabwe Confidential
Inconceivable as it may seem, Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe and opposition Movement for Democratic Chamge (MDC) leader Morgan Tsvangirai have a direct line of communication. After Tsvangirai won the first round of the presidential vote on March 29, Mugabe was ready to concede, but he knew that his generals would not accept it. He secretly reached out to Tsvangirai and two men set up a secure, direct line of communication through which they have kept in touch almost on a daily basis.
In early May, we were alerted to this interesting arrangement and set out to breach the line. Our effort involved placing a mole within the Zimbabwe Secret Service, a branch of the Zimbabwe's spy agency, Central Intelligence Organization (CIO). The Zimbabwe Secret Service is responsible for the protection of the Zimbabwe President, his spouse, children and visiting foreign heads of state and government.
At the end of July, our mole made a stunning breakthrough and breached the line. Since then, we have been collecting transcripts of all the communication that has transpired between the two men. Since the information is not classified, and in the spirit of openness, we will share it all with you.
Today we bring you the following transcript from the conversation between the two men around midnight on Wednesday, August 27, 2008.
Robert Mugabe: Hello, Morgan! Hello! Are you there! Morgan! Pick up the damn phone, Morgan!
Morgan Tsvangirai: Jesus Christ, Robert. I pick up the phone after three rings, remember?
Robert Mugabe: The line is secure, Morgan.
Morgan Tsvangirai: You sound agitated. You need to calm down.
Robert Mugabe: Don’t tell me to calm down. Especially not after your MPs heckled me in parliament yesterday. What a rude bunch of lieutenants you have.
Morgan Tsvangirai: I had nothing do with it-
Robert Mugabe: Really? You mean you have no control over the agenda of your caucus?
Morgan Tsvangirai: Oh, you have complete control?
Robert Mugabe: Maybe not any more, but I’m proud of my record. For twenty-eight long years I controlled every Zimbabwean’s mind-
Morgan Tsvangirai: Here we go again! Listen, have you really decided to form the next cabinet without me as reported in The Herald?
Robert Mugabe: What other choice do I have? What is a country without a government? Besides, you want me to transfer my powers to you, instead of sharing them. There is a difference between power-sharing and power-transfer-
Morgan Tsvangirai: I know the difference. But I won the March 29 election.
Robert Mugabe: I won the June 27 election mandated by the law of the land.
Morgan Tsvangirai: OK, this is obviously not working-
Robert Mugabe: Thank you! But I will tell you why it’s not working. You were ready to sign on to the power-sharing agreement.
Morgan Tsvangirai: No I wasn’t. Not as long as you retained all the executive authority-
Robert Mugabe: Oh, yes, you were ready, Morgan. But then the British nudged you and said “give us another six months to roast Mugabe”. They assured you that sanctions would be more devastating this time around, that in six months' time my government would collapse-
Morgan Tsvangirai: That’s preposterous! I don’t take orders from the British. I follow the wishes of my fellow Zimbabweans.
Robert Mugabe: How naïve of you, Morgan? Would I have lasted 28 years if I followed the wishes of my fellow Zimbabweans?
Morgan Tsvangirai: You’re the past, Robert. In the now and the future, the people’s will prevails. Any ways, lets’ stick with the issue of the new government, shall we?
Robert Mugabe: Absolutely, and I’ll tell you something about a thing called perception.
Morgan Tsvangirai: What has perception got to do with anything?
Robert Mugabe: Hear me out, first, Morgan-
Morgan Tsvangirai: Alright, get on with it.
Robert Mugabe: Suppose I make one of your MPs Minister of Foreign Affairs, another, Minister of Economic Development, a third, Minister of Social Welfare, and you – (pause) - a ceremonial Prime Minister-
Morgan Tsvangirai: Over my dead body.
Robert Mugabe: Mind your language, Morgan.
Morgan Tsvangirai: You’re insulting me. You have the audacity-
Robert Mugabe: It’s a hypothetical scenario, okay. We form an inclusive government in which you are ceremonial Prime Minister and your lieutenants control the key portfolios just mentioned.
Morgan Tsvangirai: Forget it. Your hypothetical scenario seeks to dump the responsibility for the country’s economic recovery and social services on my lap.
Robert Mugabe: And foreign relations, especially foreign relations. I’ll need your help to re-establish our standing with the family of the nations of the world.
Morgan Tsvangirai: Forget it.
Robert Mugabe: I’m coming to the perception point, Morgan. You see, Zimbabweans have already given me an A-plus for destroying the country. If the country recovers from its current pariah state, even with you as a ceremonial Prime Minister, you think they will forget the pain and suffering I have inflicted upon them? You don’t think they will give you an A-plus for the turn-around? (Pause) Perception, Morgan, it’s all about perception.
Morgan Tsvangirai: My God!
Robert Mugabe: What? What is it, now? I’m just trying to help here-
Morgan Tsvangirai: I know, Robert. Put it in writing
Robert Mugabe: Put what in writing?
Morgan Tsvangirai: All the stuff you just told me.
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